Miguel Ruiz’s short, easy-to-read classic begins with an attempt for credibilty:
“Fortunately, the esoteric Toltec knowledge was embodied and passed on through generations by different lineages of naguals. Though it remained veiled in secrecy for hundreds of years, ancient prophecies foretold the coming of an age when t would be necessary to return the wisdom to the people. Now, don Miguel Ruiz, a nagual from the Eagle Knight lineage, has been guided to share with us the powerful teachings of the Toltec.”
Do his four agreements really originate from the Toltecs, and is the author the designated nagual to pass along these ancient secrets? Fellow skeptics, I too have my doubts. BUT, this is really an extremely small point. Better, in my opinion, to put aside the introductory comments and focus on the main, very clearly written agreements:
1. Be impeccable with your word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
2. Don’t take anything personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Don’t make assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. Always do your best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
While the above may seem simple and basic, many of us (me in particular) forget in our daily lives to relentlessly practice and/or live by such maxims. Not doing so costs relationships and causes tremendous pain.
This is a book that I’ll read routinely going forward.
Related: Cognitive behavior therapy (CBT), Humanastic psychology, mindfulness
Additional Topic/s for Thought: On page 70 and 71, Ruiz mentions finding mates that are already the way we want them to be and not attempting to change them; on the surface, how can one disagree? Romanticism, an idea born in the late 18th Century and still very prevalent today, teaches us to love entirely and to accept unconditionally. Contrast Ruiz’s thoughts on this topic with Alain de Botton’s talk (min 16-17:30), “Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCS6t6NUAGQ